A Little Childcare Problem
by Ravenglade
Summary: Legolas and his patrol are trapped in the village of Andraith when a flood they are helping subdue gets out of hand. However, Legolas' problems are by no means over when the village children 'adopt' him...


A Little Childcare Problem

Midnight. Darkness. Almost too dark; the enveloping shadows swallowed up everything from the half-flooded buildings around them, to the source of the violent flow: swollen waters of what only that morning had been a brook. The Elven soldiers fighting to block the deluge's path with sandbags had only the roaring of the furious river to tell them how close it was coming.

"This is the last one, Captain." Megilian, the second-in-command, had to shout to make himself heard above the torrent and the gale.

Legolas took the final sandbag from him and put it in its place in the makeshift barrier. _It's not enough. _By the sound of it the river was only feet away and flowing faster by the second. _If there was a moon we could go and collect some of this debris to build up the blockade, but without…if anyone was caught by the river, we'd lose them. Elbereth, if _only_ we had a light!_

He ran his fingers distractedly through his hair. "All right. We'll have to take shelter and trust that the sandbags hold."

----**----

The people of Andraith had been forced to vacate their homes by the rising waters and had taken refuge in the town hall, which stood on higher ground. Inside, the entire population of the village was preparing for a long night: some of the women had set up a fire and were making soup, while the men who had not been helping the soldiers were sorting through the belongings that had been recovered from the flooded houses. Others were laying out blankets on the floor as makeshift beds and one or two of the smallest children were already dozing.

Those children not asleep were highly excited by the presence of elves in their village and, the moment the drenched, worn-out soldiers set foot inside the hall, they were besieged by eager questions – carefully ignoring instructions from fraught mothers to let-the-nice-men-get-their-breath-back. Having negotiated his way past three small boys asking to try out his sword, Legolas had almost made it to the village elders with a report on the flooding when he was intercepted by a different group of excited children, demanding to be told about 'elfies'.

Glaring in response to a smug look from Thandronen, he was somehow dragged across the hall and found himself sitting on the top step of the dais with the children clustered expectantly round his feet. "Tell us a story!"

_How did I get myself into this? _Ruefully Legolas shook himself and attempted to select something from his stores of memories, trying to remember what he had liked at the tender age of five.

One of the children stuck out a petulant bottom lip. "Go on!"

Hastily, their captive storyteller complied. "Right. Are you all sitting comfortably?"

A girl at the back of the group scowled. "Balion is poking me."

"Balion, don't poke people," admonished Legolas helplessly, wishing himself fervently several hundred miles away. _Fighting a warg. Fighting _two _wargs. Fighting two wargs, three Orcs and an angry Balrog…_"Now, this is the story of Princess Elia. She – "

"This sounds like a _girl's _story," objected the petulant one, sticking out his bottom lip still further. "Princess Elia is a girl."

_Two wargs, three Orcs, an angry Balrog and Ada when he gets up in the mornings…_"Yes, but you'll enjoy it just the same. Princess Elia had hair as black as jet, with diamonds entwined in it, so that it looked like a silvery brook at midnight. Now the princess was –"

"If it's midnight and it's dark, how can you see what the brook looks like?"

"In the light from the shining moon and stars above." _How poetic. My tutor would have been proud. _"Now, as I was saying, Pr –"

"What if it was cloudy?" pointed out a small redhead.

"It wasn't."

"But what if it was?"

Legolas took a deep breath and smiled with controlled calm. "It was a magic brook. So, Princess Elia -"

"How was it magic?" someone inquired. "Did it sing?"

"Yes." _This could be a long night. _"It sang. But that's beside the point. Princess Elia lived in a faraway land – "

"In a castle?"

"In the tallest tower of a lovely castle, with her mother and father and her pet rabbit."

Chaos ensued. "What was the rabbit's name?"

"Was it fluffy?"

"Was its ears floppy, or did they stick up?"

"Did it sing?"

_I _knew _it was a mistake to bring the stupid rabbit into it. _"It was fluffy with floppy ears and its name was…er, Elrohir. Now, one day Princess Elia was out walking in the palace gardens –"

"With Elbomir?"

"Yes. As I was saying, the beautiful Princess Elia was walking in the palace gardens, _with _her pet rabbit, when she met a handsome stranger."

"What was his name?"

"Princess Elia didn't know. He was a stranger, remember? All of a sudden it started to rain and Princess Elia thought she would get wet, but the handsome stranger threw his cloak over her head and took her to shelter under a tree."

"That's silly."

Legolas counted to three and took another deep breath. "No, it isn't. Pr –"

"Yes, it is. How did Princess Elia know he wasn't abducting her?"

"I would've screamed."

"If she'd screamed, would the palace guards have chopped his head off?"

_Oh, Elbereth. _"Because…she just knew. Now, Princess El –"

"How did she know?"

"Was she magic like the singing brook?"

"Did _she _sing?"

_Two wargs, three Orcs, an angry…this is getting ridiculous. _"She just knew, and no, she was not magic. As she looked into the handsome stranger's deep blue eyes, she knew that she was falling in love. The handsome stranger felt the same and before she knew it, he had proposed marriage to her."

"I _said _it was a girl's story."

"No, wait. However, just as she was accepting his proposal, two armed men burst out of the bushes and, shouting a terrifying war cry, charged at poor Princess Elia with their swords held high."

"Were their swords like your sword?"

"Can we try your sword out yet?"

"Yes, and no, in that order. But, as luck would have it, the handsome stranger was a famous swordsman and he defended the princess from her attackers."

"Did he cut their arms and legs off?"

_I'm sure I wasn't this barbaric when I was five…_ "Yes. He cut their arms and legs off. But Princess Elia had fainted – "

"Sissy."

Legolas counted to three again. " – had fainted from the shock, and had to be carried back to the palace, where it emerged that the handsome stranger was a prince of a faraway land. And they were married, and lived happily ever after." He sighed with relief. "The end."

There was a pause as the children digested this admittedly abrupt end to the tale. Then, one of them spoke.

"Was Elbomir at the wedding?"

Legolas blinked. "Er, yes. Now!" His face brightened. "Why don't we all go and get some lovely soup?"


End file.
